The Perfectionist’s Guide To Moderation

The only quote I have listed on my Facebook profile is, “Ce qui mérite d’être fait mérite d’être bien fait,” which translates to, “That which is worth doing is worth doing well.” Obviously, the spirit behind this quote is to inspire me to strive for excellence, which is an good thing; however, this philosophy has also lead me into the traps set by perfectionism:

  1. Inaction: “If I can’t do it well, I won’t do it at all.”
  2. Taking on too much: “No one else can live up to my standards, so I’ll do it all myself.”
  3. Inadequacy: “What I did wasn’t perfect, so it wasn’t good enough.”
  4. Criticism: “What you did wasn’t perfect, so it wasn’t good enough.”

If this sounds familiar, I recently wrote an article over at Inner Fire about overcoming perfectionism: The Perfectionist’s Guide To Moderation. (No comment on how long it took me to decide whether the apostrophe fit better before or after the s.)

For more on perfectionism, here’s a post I wrote three years ago around the quote “Sometimes we strive so hard for perfection that we forget that imperfection is happiness.”

Sometimes we strive so hard for perfection that we forget that imperfection is happiness. - Karen Nave

Sometimes we strive so hard for perfection that we forget that imperfection is happiness. – Karen Nave

Sometimes we strive so hard for perfection that we forget that imperfection is happiness. – Karen Nave

On a lovely weekend getaway to the peaceful ocean-side Carmel, California, my personal photographer (i.e. my husband, Richard) was snapping some shots of me doing some poses on the rocks along the beach. There must have been a airedale terrier meetup group at the beach that day, because there were fifteen or twenty of them nearby playing with each other, digging up sand, and retrieving balls from the water. Being in front of a camera brings out my inner perfectionist as I wrack my sensations to find my alignment and relax my face into a photogenic hint-of-a-smile. Just as I’d found one of my picture-perfect positions, one of the terriers jumped up onto the rocks to interrupt my posing and give me a moment of real yoga:

Sometimes we strive so hard for perfection that we forget that imperfection is happiness. - Karen Nave

Sometimes we strive so hard for perfection that we forget that imperfection is happiness. – Karen Nave

This focus on perfecting the physical aspects of the poses can also take over our practice on the mat. But the real yoga is not the shape the body takes, or the precise alignment, or the even serene facial expression. The yoga is the sukkha, the joy, the svadyaya, the self-study, the dharana and dhyana, the concentration and meditation. None of these come from a focus perfection—they come from cultivating acceptance. They come from a willingness to be who you are, where you are, what you are. Don’t get so caught up practicing the poses that you forget to practice the yoga.