12 Weeks Pregnant: Head Cold with a Side of Morning Sickness

September 7 – September 13: 12 Weeks 0 Days – 12 Weeks 6 Days.

This week was hard. A multitude of women and pregnancy resources told me that I’d miraculously start feeling better in the second trimester, so I’d been impatiently awaiting week twelve. At eleven weeks and five days I puked for the first time, and the next day I puked again. I was still hoping for a miracle at the twelve week mark.

Early Monday afternoon, twelve weeks and zero days, I slumped defeated at my kitchen table with my head in my hands. I was nauseated as ever and ready to burst into tears. Granted, things have improved. I’m not as fatigued—I can now walk uphill without getting completely out of breath—and the nausea isn’t as debilitating. However, the nausea is definitely still there and it’s unforgiving in the afternoon.

I’ve discovered there are different types of nausea. Earlier in pregnancy my stomach had a dull ache and I felt queasy. Various smells and situations made me feel worse, but only a couple times did I think I would actually throw up. More recently, the constant queasiness is less poignant, but if I encounter an offensive smell, it triggers me to retch. And by offensive I mean, the smell of our new mattress, or the kitchenware aisle in the grocery store (or any aisle in a drug store—gag), or Foxy’s dog treats. There’s a pretty low bar for offensive.

I have an optimistic personality, and after I’ve taken some time to wallow, I instinctively seek out joys, goodies, and pick-me-ups that will get me out of a funk. When I used to run competitively I was motivated to persevere by inspirational songs with a harder edge like, “Lose Yourself” by Eminem or “Remember the Name” by Fort Minor. Too emotionally fragile to absorb anything that harsh, this week I reverted to the last time I was going through a highly hormonal period: teenagehood. As I ate lunch, I YouTube’d sickeningly uplifting nineties songs, such as “Hero” by Mariah Carey, “That’s the Way it Is” by Celine Dion, and “When You Believe” by Whitney Houston and Mariah. When I was a teen I used to play guitar and sing to blow off steam, but I haven’t been motivated to do so while pregnant because it feels like it’s only a matter of time before I wont be able to reach the guitar strings over my growing belly (Update: I had several months before I was too big to play guitar). Instead, I found sheet music for “Hero” and started to learn that on piano.

Later on Monday I had a sore throat, which I was sure was from vomiting the previous day (And maybe exacerbated by singing and playing “My Heart Will Go On” on piano—a performance that sent Foxy hiding under the desk in the far corner of the room). Tuesday, the sore throat got worse, and by Wednesday I had to admit to myself that I had a cold. I took the rest of the week off work, and, despite my resolve not to lose the money I’d prepaid for my Thursday night prenatal Pilates class, my husband shamed me into skipping it: “All the other women there are pregnant too, do you think they want to get sick like you?

Normally I try to avoid taking medication, but I’ll often make an exception and use a decongestant at night when I have a cold so I can get some healing sleep. However, decongestants are strictly off limits during pregnancy so I had to tough it out. I sniffled my way through a box of tissues, dreading every cough and sneeze for fear it would spur me to puke.

As soon as I knew I was sick, I reached out to friends on Facebook for natural cold remedies. I spent a couple days pretty miserable, but thanks to some friends’ helpful suggestions, I got better in record time! Here’s some of the advice they gave me, as well as some of my own thoughts:

  • Rest. I bought “Mean Streak” by Sandra Brown, which was the perfect combination of suspense, engaging writing, and smut to contentedly park myself on the couch for a day or two.
  • Lemon, Ginger, and Honey in hot water. This also helped me with the nausea, so I drank it nonstop until my teeth began ache from the acidity.
  • Vitamin C and Zinc. I’m sure my prenatal vitamins helped me get better quickly! With those horse pills I’m not lacking for anything right now.
  • Neti. Normally I’m all about the neti, but with the nausea, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Under normal circumstances, my rule of thumb with neti is to do it like crazy the moment I feel a cold coming on—at the hint of a sore throat. In my experience, if I wait until my nose is stuffy, the neti can actually make things worse because the water gets trapped up in the sinuses.
  • Gargle with salt or tea tree oil. I wasn’t reminded of this advice until I was nearly better. My mom has sworn by the salt gargling thing for years, and although it’s one of my least favorite things to do, I do think it helps.
  • Steaming. I took warm showers in lieu of steaming. On Pinterst, I saw a suggestion to hang eucalyptus branches in the shower to add a refreshing, relaxing scent to the steam. Don’t do this. It smells awful! Add soggy eucalyptus branches to the list of scents that make me retch.
Eucalyptus in the shower

Not recommended.

Even if I didn’t spontaneously start feeling like a pregnancy goddess at week twelve, my week ended with a little bit of magic. By Sunday I was feeling healthy enough to go for a walk on the beach with Richard and Foxy, and there was a whole pod of dolphins fishing and playing just off shore.

12 Weeks Pregnant

Twelve (almost thirteen) weeks pregnant at the beach.

27 Weeks Pregnant: Home for Christmas

December 22 – December 28: 27 Weeks 0 Days – 27 Weeks 6 Days.

Long story short: Traveling while pregnant was not nearly as big a deal as I thought it would be, and it was totally worth seeing my family and friends for Christmas.

I started researching traveling while pregnant months ago, because I was sure it wouldn’t be wise for me to head fly home for Christmas when I was 27 weeks pregnant. I was worried that my baby would be deformed by in-flight radiation exposure, or that something about the pressure changes and sitting in a cramped seat would cause me to throw a clot, or that the airline wouldn’t even let me on the plane. Turns out all my fears were unfounded, especially for a short two-hour flight from San Francisco to Vancouver.

In-flight radiation: There was consensus among all the sources I read was that I would not exposed to enough in-flight radiation to affect the fetus unless I flew frequently (like a flight attendant or pilot). One round-trip for the whole duration of my pregnancy was negligible.

Blood clots: I didn’t find anything to indicate the pressure changes during a flight contribute to  blood clots, but sitting still for long periods can (particularly since I’ve had a couple varicose veins crop up). I’m sure I sit for longer than two hours in front of my computer or reading a book sometimes, so a two-hour flight probably wasn’t a big deal. Still, I got up a couple times to walk around and stretch. On the flight back to SFO I had the aisle seat, which was nice because I could move around whenever I wanted. If the flight was longer, I may have worn compression stockings to promote even better circulation.

Airline regulations: I read that some airlines wont let pregnant women fly after 28 weeks, which made me nervous about getting up to Canada and then not being allowed to board the plan back home. It turns out most airlines don’t restrict travel until 36 weeks, which was the case with the airline we flew. Still, I got a note from my midwife noting how far along I was and that I had her blessing to travel. No one at the airline asked to see the letter or even seemed to think twice about letting me on the flights. The only time anyone expressed concern was toward the end of the flight back to San Francisco when I was out of my seat frequently, stretching and sighing. Sleeping in an unfamiliar bed and neglecting my normal exercise routine for a week had left me feeling a little kinked, and sitting in a cramped airplane seat didn’t help. The flight attendant came by to check that I was okay, but she may have done that with anyone.

Backscatter X-ray: At San Francisco International Airport, they indiscriminately route everyone through the backscatter x-ray machine. They say that you get much more radiation exposure in flight than in those machines, so I normally get my “virtual strip search” without thinking twice. However, with the perspective that having a sensitive fetus in my belly gave me, I decided that getting in-flight radiation alone would be better getting than in-flight radiation plus backscatter radiation (even if the difference was marginal). Richard has never trusted those machines, so I’ve watched him go through the process of requesting and receiving a pat-down many times, and knew it wouldn’t be a big deal. Honestly, I think it was more awkward for the woman administering the pat-down than it was for me. She asked me if I had any medical conditions, to which I responded, “no.” In retrospect, that was probably her way of politely asking if I was pregnant. I guess all my affirmations about pregnancy being a natural, normal, healthy, safe process have set in.

Any small inconveniences of traveling while pregnant were forgotten in the joy of spending the holidays with family and old friends. Before Christmas, I had a wonderful baby shower with old friends. No one will celebrate big life events with you quite as earnestly as the people who have seen you grow up. I was touched that so many people showed up to share in the baby love with me. I brought home a closet full of adorable baby clothes, cozy blankets, and story books, along with an amazing hand-crocheted mobile from my sister.

Forest Mobile

Hand-crafted mobile made by my sister.

I loved spending time with my two-year-old niece, whom I don’t see nearly enough. She is so full of wonder and energy! Although, it did make me wonder how I will handle being pregnant with a toddler in tow next time ’round. Obviously I’ll figure it out, but I think it will be a much less me-focused experience of pregnancy.

Gingerbread House

My niece and I decorated a gingerbread house together. I wish I could blame the loppy icing on her, but that was all me.

On Christmas Eve, my mom and I joined my sister at her church for the Christmas Eve service, while Richard stayed home to give his dad a call. I felt kind of like the prodigal sister, showing off my big pregnant belly in pumps and a tight leopard-print dress with no husband in sight. All I needed was green eye shadow and a run in my stockings to complete the picture. The baby kicked whenever we sung carols. She seems to respond to sound more now. The other night, Richard read The Hungry Caterpillar to my belly (which we got from the baby shower). When he made a loud popping sound effect to signify the caterpillar breaking out of its cocoon, the baby kicked hard!

The Prodigal Sister

Bump update on Christmas Eve.

There’s nothing like spending Christmas at home with my family. As usual, I fell victim to my mom’s delicious spread of sweet and savory treats, and probably gained more weight than I needed to over the trip, but what’s life without having whole milk and shortbread cookies for breakfast every now and then? My mom’s a craigslist aficionado, and (on top of the new clothes she got me for my shower) she sent me home with some cute second-hand baby clothes. Where safety issues aren’t a concern, I’m all about used baby stuff—it seems crazy to spend a fortune on a wardrobe that only fits for 3 months (that said: in spite of myself, I have several irresistible hand-made onesies from Etsy on my registry). For Christmas, my dad got goodies from my baby registry, including one of my most-researched items: the ErgoBaby Carrier. Of course, the cliché is true: the greatest gift of all was spending joyful quality time in front of the Christmas tree, around the dinner table, and out-and-about with everyone I care about.

Belly Heart

Quintessential pregnancy shot with my love on Christmas Day.

26 Weeks Pregnant: Baby Movements

December 15 – December 21: 26 Weeks 0 Days – 26 Weeks 6 Days.

I first felt the baby kick when I was eighteen weeks pregnant: there was a single little jab below by belly button, then I didn’t feel her again for a week or two. Gradually I started to feel her more and more frequently. The baby is kicking, shifting, and stretching all the time now. She seems to move most when I’m eating or lying down, so I assume she falls asleep when I’m moving around (probably a good trick to remember for when she’s out of the belly).

The baby changes positions frequently. It feels as though some days she’s set up to make firm contact with my abdominal wall and other days she’s positioned to kick the placenta (which is in the front)my sensation of her movements can be unmistakeably strong or barely perceptible. When the baby kicks outward, it’s sweet and amazing, but she occasionally kicks downward to make contact with my pelvic floor (and bladder), which is shocking, or upward to hit my stomach, which I think contributes to heartburn.

A week or two ago, Baby Center told me it was important that I start tracking the baby’s movements, and if I didn’t feel the baby moving for a certain period of time to seek medical attention. I have a mixed relationship with BabyCenter. I love receiving updates on the baby and when I Google a pregnancy-related topic BabyCenter nearly always has a relevant, informative article. However, the tips and articles they send me are perpetually stressing me out. Sure enough, shortly after reading the article about tracking kicks I went a whole day feeling only sensations that were maybe the baby moving, maybe not. It was also a busy day, so I may have simply not been paying attention.

Richard and I went to bed late that night, and I told him I hadn’t felt the baby move, and that BabyCenter said I should be worried. Neither of us could sleep, so I spent the next hour changing positions to try to wake the baby up and get some movement out of her. Finally I got some kicks out of her, and Richard and I were both able to exhale and get some rest. The next day she was jump, jive, and wailing all day long so she must’ve taken a day of rest to regain her energy.

The next time I saw my midwife, I asked her about tracking the baby’s movements, and she said different people had different opinions, but she didn’t ask people to constantly track their unborn baby’s movements unless there was already a reason to worry. She hit the bitten-down fingernail on the head, saying constantly tracking could just be another source of stress. If I hadn’t felt the baby kick in a while, she continued, I could drink an ice cold glass of juice then lay down—that nearly always got a baby moving. She reassured me that if I was really worried I could always come in and they could check on the baby.

She was right about the cold sugar-water waking up babies. I got my gestational diabetes test done this week, wherein I had to fast for twelve hours, drink ten sickly ounces of melted popsicles within 5 minutes, and then sit around for two hours to see how my body processed the sugar (I was happy and relieved when I got my negative test results a couple days later). Although my affinity for sugar has sharply decreased during pregnancy, I still consider myself to be somewhat of a sugar addict, and I thought I would have no problems quaffing the tutti-frutti syrup. The first three minutes were okay, but those last two were torture. For the next hour I had to get up and walk around frequently to keep it down. The baby loved it though! She was kicking strongly and constantly.

The big milestone this week was that I could see the baby moving. Before I was pregnant, I didn’t realize this was a thing! I was taking a shallow not-too-hot bath, when I felt a kick and saw my belly twitch. Then again. And again. I was mesmerized and in awe. It was also a little creepy, but I got over that. After I got out of the bath, I marveled with Richard a little longer as she continued to show us her kicks. I haven’t seen this again in the days since, so I think she was positioned perfectly that night to make an impact. This weekend, I had a wonderful baby shower with my family and my high school and university friends. My sister and friend were telling me toward the end of the third trimester, you can very clearly see the rolling and shifting of the baby. I’m looking forward to that amazing and weird experience!

26 Week Bump

Bump update from my Canadian baby shower at 26 weeks.

25 Weeks Pregnant: Tis the Season to Dress to the Nines

December 8 – December 14: 25 Weeks 0 Days – 25 Weeks 6 Days.

I just read an article about how tech companies throw impressive holiday bashes to retain employees, and not to be outdone, Richard’s company had its party this Saturday on the U.S.S. Hornet, an aircraft carrier. The invitation requested we “dress to impress.” Minor discomforts aside, I’ve felt good in my second trimester, so I was looking forward to it.

I have several high-waisted dresses, and I thought I’d easily be able to squeeze into one of those because it’s only my belly that’s growing, right? Wrong. Thursday evening I tried on dress after dress, and the zippers wouldn’t come anywhere near closing. There was a dress or two that I could use if I was desperate, but nothing that looked that “impressive.” Friday, I headed to the mall to search for a maternity holiday dress.

First stop: Motherhood Maternity. They had a couple nice dresses there, but in response to nearly every one of my hopeful inquiries, the saleswoman replied, “I’m so sorry, we no longer have that in your size.” Disappointed, but unwilling to give up, I got took every marginally winter-appropriate dress they had in my size into the fitting room.

We don’t have bright lights or a good full length mirror at our new home yet, which I guess has left me with some body blind spots. Upon putting on the first mid-thigh-length dress, I turned around in front of the mirror to see how it looked, but froze when I caught a glimpse of the back of my right knee (what’s that area called? The knee pit?). It was blue! Horrified, I laboriously bent and twisted to try to get a better look. Are those spider veins? No, those are definitely varicose veins. Two of them? No, three?! Oh my God. (I still don’t know how many there are, I can’t get into a position where I can closely examine my own knee pit). I tried on all the dresses I’d brought in, but I was so distracted by examining and re-examining the back of my knee that I probably didn’t genuinely see most of them.

Pregnancy Art Therapy - 25 Weeks

“Close your eyes. Visualize your body as you breathe in and out. Try to imagine your breath as a particular color as it enters your body, another color as it exits. What do you see? Draw an outline of a body on a large sheet of paper, and inside, create a watercolor based on your bodily state. Think about what these colors mean to you, where they are densest, where they are most opaque.”

The previous day, I’d tried an art therapy technique in which I drew an outline of my body, meditated on my state, and filled in the outline with watercolor. I feel like I need to do another one using the body shape of me contorting to try to see the back of my knee. The agitation I felt in that moment is probably worth processing. Those varicose veins represented something more significant to me. Maybe I was upset because I saw it as the first evidence of a permanent change pregnancy would have on my body (which is not necessarily the case, sometimes varicose veins shrink or disappear after pregnancy—during pregnancy blood volume goes up 50%, contributing to bulging veins). Maybe seeing them shattered my sense of invincibility, thrusting me into a tempest of worry about all the other things that could go wrong (my gestational diabetes test is this week). Maybe they just made me feel old, unhealthy, or unattractive. I don’t really know.

I was alarmed by the the variety of textures and colors on the back of my knee. (Reality check: they have become less and less pronounced every time I’ve looked at them in the days since—they are not even that bad). I Googled “blood clot vs varicose veins,” as I bumbled through the mall and was satisfied that my symptoms were benign. However, when I got home (empty-handed) I phoned the nurse-midwife who was on-call after hours at my hospital and described my symptoms to be reassured that I was really okay (She was graciously nice about it).

I accepted that I wasn’t going to get a fun new holiday outfit, and resigned myself to wearing an old relaxed white sweater dresses the party. On Saturday morning I headed back to the mall to buy some maternity nylons and other flesh-tone underthings to complement. The saleswoman at Motherhood recognized me and said, “Hey you were in here yesterday, right? That dress you really liked—we just got a shipment in and we have it in your size now. Do you want to try it on?” The previous day, when I looked in the mirror, the appearance of each dress I tried on was outshone by the pulsating blue aura emitted from my gnarly knee pit. With the perspective of a new day I still checked out my new found body change in the full-length mirror, but I was more focused on envisioning which necklace I would wear to match and how I’d do my hair and make-up. Here’s how it turned out:

Maternity holiday dress

Ready for the holiday party!

Richard and I had a lovely time at the holiday party. He was like a kid in a candy store on that aircraft carrier—he wanted to see everything! I’m glad I brought flats, because the stairways were practically ladders. We stayed until almost midnight, which made me recognize how much more energy I have now than I did in my first trimester. One thing I’ve come to depend on in pregnancy is that, for better or worse, every week something changes (And in the big picture, as long as the baby is growing and healthy, it’s all for better). One of the Joyful Pregnancy Affirmations in my Hypnobabies home study class was particularly poignant this week: “I love my pregnant body and accept it every day.” This was the first week I felt like I needed that statement.

I’ve since read up on how to minimize varicose veins to prevent complications. The whole time I’ve been writing this post I’ve been diligently trying to avoid crossing my legs. I’m still trying to figure out how to sleep on my left side and elevate my legs at the same time, but I’ll keep trying (lying on the left prevents the baby from compressing the inferior vena cava, which can inhibit blood from returning to the heart, and elevating the feet prevents blood from pooling in the legs). Daily cardiovascular exercise would help, so maybe it’s time to locate my closest swimming pool. For now I’m off to spend a few minutes in legs up the wall (viparita karani).

11 Weeks Pregnant: Hypermobility and Pregnancy

September 1 – September 6: 11 Weeks 0 Days – 11 Weeks 6 Days.

When we measured hamstring flexibility in high school gym class, I blew past the end of the gauge on the sit-and-reach box (which was about the only thing I was good at in P.E.). At 19, when I first set foot in a Bikram Yoga studio, I was already one of the most flexible people in the room. I often had yoga teachers ask me if I was a gymnast or a dancer—I wasn’t; my bendiness is mostly genetic. Needless to say, I’ve always been flexible in certain directions; however, I don’t know if I’ve always been hypermobile.

Flexibility is mainly a function of how long and pliable your muscles are. Hypermobility relates to different tissues. If you removed all the muscles from a human body (don’t try this at home), the bones would maintain a skeleton shape because of tiny straps called ligaments that hold the bones together at the joints. Ligaments have some elasticity, but unlike muscles, they don’t contract and relax. If you work diligently to build flexibility in a muscle, you may quickly lose your flexibility if you stop your stretching regimen. However, if you stretch out your ligaments, they stay that way for a quite a while. Some examples of actions that stretch ligaments:

  • Twisting your ankle
  • Pushing your elbow to straighten as far as it goes
  • Making sudden stops or pivots while running
  • Sinking into yoga poses as deeply as you can rather than maintaining integrity

If the ligaments get so lax that the joints are no longer stable (e.g. the shoulder easily comes out of place in its socket), it is called hypermobility. For people who get to this point, it’s of utmost importance to strengthen and refine control of the muscles around hypmobile joints as a second line of stability.

Pelvis

A view of the pelvis from the front.

All of this matters when you’ve got a baby on board because pregnant women’s ligaments become more pliable. Especially during the first trimester, pregnant women’s bodies release elevated levels of a hormone called relaxin. Bear with me for some anatomy: everybody knows that the hip joint is where the thigh bone attaches to the pelvis, but the pelvis also has a couple less illustrious joints that maintain its structure and don’t move that much under normal circumstances. The pelvis is made of two large irregular bones called the coxal bones (the iliac bone labelled in the diagram is part of the coxal bone), which come together in pubic area in the front and wrap around the sides and to the back where they join the sacrum bone, which (along with the coccyx) is the bottom part of the spine. One of relaxin’s function is to relax the ligaments of the joint in the front of the pelvis between the two coxal bones—the pubic symphysis—and of the joints between the coxal bones and the sacrum—the sacroiliac (or SI) joints. It makes birth a heck of a lot easier if the pelvis is mobile.

Because relaxin is released systemically, not just to those few pelvic joints, it affects all the ligaments in the body. People who have tight joints tend to enjoy this period of relative mobility. By the time I got pregnant I’d already been working with a couple hypermobile joints (including my SI joints) for two years. I had worked with a physical therapist to rehabilitate my body enough that I could teach yoga regularly and practice a couple times a week on top of that, but there was definitely a limit on how much stretching I could do before destabilizing my joints. My favorite classes became the ones that prepped the body for inversions, because they usually focused on strengthening instead of stretching. I kept telling myself, Before I get pregnant, I have to get back into doing my physical therapy exercise daily, start doing Pilates three times a week, and maybe even get back into weight training to stabilize my joints. But I didn’t get around to it, and I got pregnant a lot quicker than I thought I would. When I found out I had a baby on the way, I knew I was in trouble.

I’ve never striven to be that mama who’s 36 weeks pregnant doing a one-legged wheel through an Instagram filter (No disrespect intended—you are amazing and gorgeous; thank you for sharing what’s most authentic to you during pregnancy). However, I visualized myself continuing to work through pregnancy. When I was a lifeguard in college, there was a diving coach who worked at the pool named Betty-Sue, or Anna-Jane, or something like that. She was tall and boisterous, had pixie-cut stark red hair (before it was cool), and a giant pregnant belly. Fueled by the only images we had of pregnancy childbirth—the hectic emergency situations portrayed on TV and in movies—the other lifeguards and I were horrified that she was still working. We were sure we’d have to deliver a baby on the pool deck, armed only with the three-minute section about emergency childbirth we’d discussed in our first aid course. Years later, I think back on that diving coach as a powerful role model. During pregnancy, I wanted to be out there fulfilling a purpose greater than my own needs right up until my contractions started.

Needless to say, giving up a big chunk of my teaching was a tough choice, but it came down to the question: “Would you rather have the physical integrity to hold and carry your future child or to continue to practice contortion?” For me, there is no contest. As soon as I found out I was pregnant I stopped practicing yoga in public classes. My home practice has consisted almost exclusively of low lunge, legs up the wall, and savasana. Within a week of finding out I was pregnant I gave a month’s notice on the public vinyasa classes I’d been teaching. In that month it became clear that I’d made the right choice. After sitting cross-legged for long periods my ankles feel kinked. If I go to my full depth in a forward fold (let alone doing it repeatedly in a series of several sun salutations), my SI joints ache like never before until I can do some of my rehab exercises. After samokonasana (side splits), I feel pins and needles in my pubic symphysis for the rest of the day. Even in gentle back bends I feel sharp discomfort in my upper abdominals. Twists make me nauseous. In short, vinyasa yoga is not therapeutic for me at this time. I’ve had several pregnant women practice in my vinyasa classes into the third trimester, but it just isn’t meant to be in my body.

Last week, was my last week teaching vinyasa. I’m continuing to teach Seniors’ Yoga, yoga and meditation to people with chronic pain, and a couple private classes, which has been lovely and soothing for my body this week.

For others who have (or think they may have) hypermobile joints (during or not during pregnancy), here are some yoga-related insights I’ve gleaned from living in a similar body:

  • The cues in yoga classes don’t always apply to you. For example, a common cue in yoga is to tilt the pelvis forward (or reach the sit bones upward) during forward folds. If you’re already flexible this may destabilize the SI joints. Ask an anatomy-focused teacher for tips to suit your specific body after class, or sign up for a private session!
  • Yoga not just about softening and relaxing. The dialog around softening to intensity is one of the reasons yoga is so healing, but when you have hypermobile joints, there’s an art to it. With practice, you can learn to completely relax and release in one area while engaging the muscles to stabilize another. For example, in frog pose, can you soften your inner thighs and groin while engaging your core so your spine doesn’t hammock down? At first it can be like patting your head and rubbing your belly. Anusara-inspired yoga teachers often include great cues about stabilizing the joints.
  • Being hypermobile doesn’t necessarily mean you’re flexible. For one, muscles can automatically tighten up to protect hypermobile joints. Also, sometimes areas of immobility can actually contribute to hypermobility. For example, due to very mild scoliosis my upper back is less mobile than average. Above and below that immobile area, I have developed hypermobile joints that have compensate so I can approximate fun, sexy positions like wheel pose. Relying on hypermobile joints to achieve yoga poses is not a sustainable practice.
  • The posture should be steady

    The posture should be steady, comfortable, and grounded in joy – Patanjali (This photo was taken long before I was pregnant)

    You may not be able to feel your edge. You can easily and comfortably press hypermobile joints into unstable positions that may continue to stretch or damage surrounding ligaments. Because the ligaments are long, you don’t feel pain until the joint is really out of place. The cue, “Breath into the discomfort” in the absence of cues and enforcement of alignment did not serve me as a developing yogi. When I didn’t feel discomfort in a pose, I’d go searching for it. In some directions, the only discomfort available was achieved by destabilizing my joints. I used to hold resting pigeon 6 minutes each side per day because it was so beautifully intense—as if it was stretching the fibers of my soul. Turns out it was so intense because the way I was sinking into it was pulling apart the tissues that stabilized my SI joint. That sounds like it would be painful, but it’s important for other bendy yogis to know that it never felt bad or destructive to me; it felt transcendental. Now, my personal rule of thumb is that the stretching part of a pose should be comfortable and pleasant. Don’t worry, in most styles of yoga, there’s still tons of uncomfortable strength work as an arena to develop equanimity.

  • You may not have the strength to do the poses that most people don’t have the flexibility to do. The typical class that works up to wheel as a peak pose focuses on flexibility. This isn’t enough prep for me. Because I have the hypermobile segments in my spine, it takes an incredible amount of core/abdominal/back muscle control and strength for me to bend evenly in my spine instead of just collapsing into those “easy” joints. To do wheel comfortably, I need to spend a good chunk of time priming the strength component of the pose. (Actually, this is good advice for anyone. Doing wheel without engaging the abdominals to control the back bend is a really effective way to develop painful hypermobility issues).
  • Typical sequencing may not work for you. For me: Ashtanga and other sun-salutation-heavy styles—yuck, too repetitive and extreme-to-extreme to keep my joints in place. Sequencing that’s so focused on the peak pose that is sacrifices balance—ick, imbalanced muscle groups can easily pull unstable joints out of alignment. Hamstring stretches until the sacred cows come home—my SI joint says no thanks. Yin yoga—Oh God no. Those long holds are designed to get into your connective tissues, that’s the whole point of them. I don’t need my ligaments to be any longer than they are. It’ll be different depending on what you’ve got going on in your body. It’s okay if not all styles of yoga resonate with you. It’s okay if no style of yoga resonates with you.
  • Yoga is not a cure-all. Anyone who tells you otherwise probably has a financial interest in you continuing to practice yoga exclusively. There’s a glaring (but sometimes hard-to-accept) difference between a practice that’s therapeutic and one that’s only tolerable; just because you can do all the typical yoga poses doesn’t mean they’re improving your physical state (or improving your ability to sit in meditation). Check in with your body. You may have incorporate other types of exercise or therapies into your regimen to restabilize your joints. I’m not qualified to give medical advice, but for my body, seeing a physical therapist who could specifically evaluate what was going on in my body, give me physical hands-on adjustments, and assign homework exercises to keep those adjustments in place worked better than anything else. Pilates with an experienced teacher is also great. Since I’ve been pregnant I’ve been taking Preggo Pilates with Stephanie Forster. Update: Nearing the end of my second trimester, I swear even more vehemently by prenatal pilates. When life has painfully kinked my joints, pilates has snapped me back into place.
  • There are seven other limbs of yoga, all of which you can still practice, even with hypermobile joints. Let your asana be a practice that serves you—not a practice that adheres to what other people tell you that you “should” be doing (Prenatal yoga is such a staple in San Francisco that not one doctor, midwife, or acquaintance could resist telling me I should try it even after hearing about my joint issues. You know your body. You know what’s right—that knowledge just may be hiding under a couple layers of ego). I’ve been using the Hypnobabies home-study course (see my review of it here) as a form of meditation and connection to my baby.

Having hypermobile joints can leave us feeling lonely and judged because there are relatively few of us out there, people don’t have much compassion for us (“You’re too flexible? I’d love to have your problem!”), and sometimes we’re even shamed for succumbing to our challenges (yoga teachers may tell us to “let go of our ego” when we’re sinking too deep into yoga poses rather than helping us find alignment in the lax joints we have a hard time sensing). My hypermobile sisters and brothers: know that you are not the only one. It’s okay to have the body you have—just because certain things don’t work for you doesn’t mean your body is bad or wrong or broken. If a teacher makes you feel that way, it’s a sign they don’t have the knowledge to help you; find a new teacher. Your body is perfect, and there is a practice out there that will be therapeutic for you. Trust that if you let go of dogmas around asana, put the other principles of yoga to work, and get a little one-on-one help from an experienced teacher or therapist, you will find your way.